Better Than Me
by Lady Rashka
Summary: ONE SHOT: '“ No, you deserve much better than me” those familiar words stung just as hard if not harder than the first time. It was like a knife stabbing into an unhealed wound.' WARNING: SLASH, RAPE, ABUSE DracoxOliver


This is my first fanfic so I'm sorry if it totally sucks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry potter characters, though I wish I do…lol

This is a slash so if you don't like that kind of thing than you don't have to read it

_**I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe**_

" No, I don't love you"

Those were the last word Oliver had uttered to the only person he had truly loved. The memory of that night was unwelcome in his throbbing head. Hands pressed against his temples and his eyes squashed shut he tried to block the images out of his head. When his frivolous attempts had failed he sat up in his bed and roughly threw the cover back.

Oliver had to get out of this place, everything reminded him of his love. It didn't cross him as he hastily left his flat that he was still in his pajamas. The chill of the night reached him easily through the thin white undershirt and the flannel pants. A shaky hand ran through his disheveled hair as roamed thoughtlessly through the sleeping city. Oliver couldn't help but think of that night as much as he didn't want to.

He could still feel the warm of his body next to his, the wonderful feeling of his silk hair resting against his chest. Oliver balled his fist together as a yearning ran through his fingers for the feeling of the platinum mane and the porcelain skin. Oh god his skin. A whimper almost left Oliver's quivering lips. The recollection of the feel of his lovers skin was fading from his mind. Panic filled him as the picture of the alabaster skin taunt over the finely muscle chest was growing dim each time he franticly tried to recall it.

But no matter how long he was apart from him would the icy color of his eyes leave his memory. It would be there forever glued to the back of his eyelids. Even though the gripping pain of loss engulfed him each time the orbs of blue flashed behind his closed eyes it brought him the little joy of some piece of him still remaining.

_**I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me**_

A little piece of him was all Oliver needed to make it through each session. Every moment of every day Oliver regretted letting him go, but he deserved so much better than him. God, he even hated him self. He felt so dirty so worthless, what had he seen in him. With such a repulsive job Oliver couldn't bare contaminating his love. Each customer made him colder, and more broken and he didn't deserve to have that. Every despicable, unintentional moan that escaped his lips felt like a betrayal. Every man that caressed his skin made Oliver want to cry, the unworthiness of his being too much to bear.

"_**You deserve much better than me" **_

Oliver wiped a tear of his chapped cheek and kept on walking no sure where he was anymore. Those words he had said them as his loves pale long finger dug into his arms to keep him from leaving. Each finger he pried off had cut more and more wounds into his bleeding heart. The cries of agony from him as walked away still reminisced in his eardrums. Not even the strong wind could block out the gut wrenching wails of the one he loved.

He looked down at his clock 12 am. It was worthless to go back home, he had to be at work in a half an hour. Oliver turned left and continued to walk towards his personal hell, the very thing that made him largely inadequate. The streets started to become more populated. The hookers stood scantily clad and twirling their hair on the curbs as rich men, poor men, ever sort of men passed by to get their goodies. The shame of his life was all too evident as he entered a old apartment building and went to his room.

Robotically he changed and layed down on the dingy white sheets and waited. The quiet of the room haunted him and his mind wandered to painful things. A sigh rippled through him as his door opened and his first client of the night waltzed in. young and beautiful, he eyed the long lean body of Oliver.

" Hello. I'm Blake" Oliver forced a smile and stood up. Blake was very handsome. Short black hair curled on the top of his head and deep chocolate looked at Oliver clouded over with desire. He was tall, taller than Oliver but lean, the tight muscle of his chest displayed by the form fitting shirt he was wearing.

Blake couldn't contain himself in the presence of such a beautiful creature and he sprang forward pulling the sad lips onto his.

Oliver with held a whimper as a hard manhood pressed up against his thigh and the wondering hands of Blake took hold of his flaccid penis.

" Oh Draco" he cried in his head.

Blake's every touch reminded him of what he had had with Draco, the content love and slow breath taking kisses. The rough kisses from Blake were nothing compared to the passionate exchanges he had experienced. Oliver held on to Blake tighter just to keep the tears from flowing down his face. He felt treacherous as raspy moans filled the room as warm kisses tore at his neck. Oliver could feel his penis hardening from the pure desire he was gaining for the black beauty on top of him.

Oliver tugged at the jeans that hung loosely around Blake's waist, wishing for a distraction from the plaguing thoughts running through his head. A handsome smile spread over Blake's pink plump lips and he obeyed throwing of his pants. He was naked now, no underwear under his previous garment. He lowered his smiling lips down to Oliver's collarbone picking up where he left off. With an action so not like him, Oliver bucked his hips up against Blake's and entangled his fingers in the raven curls.

So much pain was stabbing at him he tried everything to distinguish its numbing effect. Normally he had a strict no lips past the hips rule but he let Blake stray beyond those limits. His tongue flickered in an intoxicating motion against Oliver's throbbing anus. But no matter how much he ached for penetration he wasn't ready for Blake's harsh sudden movements. With one quick thrust he had entered him, ripping past the tight unready muscles. Oliver let out a loud cry and writhed under the strong man. Wrist now pinned above his head he was helpless and hurting.

Each rough thrust tore Oliver more. He could feel the sticky, thick liquid being smeared over his thighs and soaking through the sheets. Blake laughed at his whimpers and dug his nails further into his perfect skin. His teeth raked along his chest drawing fresh trails of blood. Forced rough kisses were bestowed on Oliver's trembling lips. He gagged as Blake's tongue jabbed down his throat. His hands were no longer mauling his back; they had slithered down the side of his body and to his broken anus.

With each finger added Oliver squeezed his eyes shut harder. He filled his thoughts now with what memory he had left of Draco. The feel of his hair, the steady rhythmic beat of his heart, they way he gently kissed all my trouble away. So wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't even realize the brutal assaults to his face and the strain on his tearing body. Oliver silently slipped into sleep shutting out the pain. It was just him and Draco, the way it should be. God, he missed him. Three long years with out his touch, with out so much as a glimpse of his beautiful face and now he feared he wouldn't live long enough to see him again.

_**The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end  
**_

Angry and extremely nervous Draco entered the shabby whorehouse and stamped up the rickety steps. He had finally found his once lover, the breaker of his heart. Rage pumped through his veins at all the hurt he had inflicted upon him. So many questions he had, that hopefully would be answered. Never before had such anger festered in his heart over some one he loved so very much.

Number 47, Oliver's room came into view and Draco stopped to catch his fluttering breath. Three years he hadn't seen or heard from him, three years he had lived in anguish and now he would see him. Draco himself couldn't tell all the emotions going through his body. His stomach turned in anxious anticipation as his hand reached for the rusty doorknob. The first try he quickly with drew his hand, not quite ready yet. The second time it seemed he wasn't ready either. But on the third attempt he opened it slowly his eyes shut.

Oliver was laying on the messy bed naked, one limp hand hanging off the side. His face was bloody and bruised and crimson covered the sheets under him. All anger seemed to disappear in an instant and Draco rushed over to him. He scooped the broken body up on to his lap, cradling his head between his shaky hands. Draco pushed the matted hair out of his face and placed a kiss on his forehead. Three years apart and he had to see him like this. He tried to remember the Oliver untouched by this cruelty.

Draco's heart jumped as weak eyes opened, engulfing him in a world of dark chocolate. Oliver stared at him incredulously as if he was a vision.

"Oliver, I'm here now. Everything will be okay," Draco said softly, lightly stroking the hollow cheek.

Oliver was happy where ever he was. Heaven or hell he was in Draco's arms and that was where he belonged. It is what his heart had longed for, for so long. If this was death he was very content in it.

" Did you die too?" Oliver asked in voice quiet and confused. He didn't like the thought of Draco being dead even if it meant they were together. Draco muffled a cry and held Oliver tighter.

" No and neither did you. I here, alive with you and I'm never going to leave you" he said taking Oliver's hand into his and placing a kiss on his bloody fingers. His loves beaten face twisted in pain at his words and he closed his eyes tears slid out from under his lashes.

" No, you deserve much better than me" those familiar words stung just as hard if not harder than the first time. It was like a knife stabbing into an unhealed wound. Draco couldn't believe his ears, why was he doing this.

" Stop saying that, I love you, I want you, I need you" he screamed, utter frustration mixing in with his cries of pain.

Oliver wanted to comfort him; he wanted to be with him. But he couldn't, not with what he was, what he had done. He was so tired and so weak and he like the thought of one last time taking a nap curled up next to Draco. Each blink was longer than the last and every breath became a bit more labored.

" I want you to be happy, with some one worthy of all your love, not some dirty filth like me" Oliver said bluntly " but I love you, know that and never forget it" he muttered reaching up, using all his strength to stroke his corn silk hair and velvet cheek one last time. Everything was going black again the perfect face of his love grower dimmer with each passing moment. Warm tears fell down onto his ripped chest and panicky yells filled the air. This was the end and Oliver knew it. With the touch of Draco fresh on his skin he was ready to go. He was ready to leave Draco, so he could find some one worthy of his perfect love.

The light ahead of him was so bright but he kept on walking towards it, hoping for sweet redemption on the other side. With the vision of Draco in his head, it gave him all the strength to move forward out of his painful world.

" Good-bye my love" he whispered and slipped into death.

His body fell limp in Draco's trembling arms. His shoulders shook with the sobs coming from his aching heart. Deep internal bitterness over took him and he fell next to his lost love, willing to be taken to. He turned his face to the wall and prayed for death. Draco Malfoy no longer wished for life, for what was life with out his love.

_**I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me**_

_**Better than me by hinder**_

i hope you liked it... i know it's a weird pairing, but i was trying something new that i hadn't read before. **please please please reveiw** i would love to have some more feedback on how it was. any suggestions would be great!

**hey i have another story with this pairing. it takes place before this story and kinda explains there relationship more... please read and review as alway.**

Lady Rashka


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